There are myriad of reasons why you are not achieving your goals at stipulated standards and timing, why you’re not getting that dream job, why you are unable to maintain a regular saving habit, why you are unable to score that interview and hitch a deal…the list goes on and on. It is perfectly the same with marriage. It can be quite a frustrating ordeal, especially amongst the singles, most especially the Christian singles.
Sometimes, we may tend to over-spiritualize the causes and attribute it to unseen forces from our villages. This is not necessarily always the case. If properly analyzed, delays in marriage can be traced to minor oversights in aspects of our behavior. There is one challenge though, it almost always takes the observant eye of a third party to see these oversights, nearly never the subjects themselves.
Luckily, I have been able to outline some of the common and easily overlooked reasons that may be stalling your progress in getting hitched. They include:
4 Reasons Why You’re Not married Yet
- Absurd standards
This is the supposed list of characteristics some singles have in place to screen prospective spouse candidates. Gosh! As the name implies, some of them can truly be absurd! We hear of ladies wanting a man that is specifically 6 inches tall with squared jaws and a broad shoulder to go with. Oh, the guys aren’t left out with their cravings for fair girls without any blemishes and model-grade body structures. Although there is nothing wrong with wanting to be with a good-looking guy or an attractive young lady, it shouldn’t be a paramount criterion for selection. Going at this rate, we may have to mold our spouses eventually.
- High expectations from marriage (without even being there yet)
If you would honestly agree with me, marriage is a miniature version of life itself, more like an episode in a TV series, but of absolutely great or even greater importance than other episodes. It, therefore, comes with its fair share of ups and downs. Many have built their idea of marriage off of romantic movies and fantasy flicks with happy-ever-after endings. It’s not bad to hope for the best, but it’s unwise to eliminate the possible eventuality of rocky points in marriage. You’ll find yourself throwing off chances with someone the moment you have a slight disagreement and this won’t get you anywhere.
- Rolling with not-so-helpful company
This is relatable to other aspects of life. Moving with the wrong crowd may just be helping you cultivate wrong habits that aren’t marriage-friendly. Attaching yourself to people who are successful in the game is a way better option if you want to pick up on favorable tidbits that will get you closer to your life mate.
- Underlying tribal disapproval
This is usually not considered a big deal by many, as they see it as just an ordinary matter of preference. But it may be the reason why you have passed up so many opportunities to develop a relationship with a decent guy or girl as the case may be. It’s high time we realize and accept the fact that tribal affiliations may not always be the best judge of character, and the sooner, the better.
And last but definitely not the least….
It’s often said that our attitudes determine our altitudes, but it doesn’t only relate to personal ambitions and achievements. Nasty attitudes, in general, are a huge turnoff for anybody approaching you for reasons otherwise, not to talk of something as lasting as marriage. Nobody wants to get married to anyone with a loose tongue, regularly turning simple conversations into arguments because of their inability to put a leash on their lips.
Sometimes, it takes just a little self-evaluation to decipher the reasons for our delayed progress and until we do so, we might not make any considerable headway.